Apr 11, 2012

The email

I received an email from my son's teacher today.  In the subject line read "B at Lunch".

Oh fantastic, I thought.  What happened at lunch?!

Earlier in the school year he brought home a note from the cafeteria stating that he licked the table! 
Words cannot begin to describe all of the thoughts of disgust that crept into my head as that image went through my mind. 

So now here we go again in the cafeteria . . .

There are teacher's assistants who monitor the lunch room at his school.  Apparently each day this week, when his teacher has picked the class up, the lunch teacher has mentioned that B has had trouble listening during lunch.

Not only has he had trouble at lunch, but yesterday in art, he and another child were breaking the crayons . . . on purpose!  When his teacher asked him why he did it, do you know what he told her?!
He said, "We were trying to make more crayons."

Oh my goodness B!  You were trying to make more?!  You, the child who throws a fit the instant your brother breaks a crayon when we are at a restaurant?  Really?!

Oh wait there's even more!  When Brent went to pick him up from after school care he was sitting in timeout!  Evidently he and another child thought it would be a great idea to throw toys at each other and run around.

Not the best plan you've ever had kiddo!

So, Brent and I began our evening with some detective work.  As we calmly discussed the days/weeks events we came to the conclusion that B needed to write apology letters to: his lunch teacher, art teacher, after school teacher, and classroom teacher.  He also said he thought he should get the art teacher some new crayons when we go shopping this weekend.

While I'm not thrilled about his choices I'm glad that he was able to come up with appropriate ways to rectify the situation.

I am still concerned.  B has always been a bit of a follower.  He has had this 'friend' whom he met at school this year.  This friend doesn't seem to make the best choices. 

I am not trying to be one of those: My child doesn't do anything wrong kind of parents.  Oh believe me he's a stinker.  I'll be the first one to admit that, but he's an age appropriate stinker and typically after we discuss things with him and he has consequences for his actions the undesirable behavior is extinguished.

All of the sudden this year (Kindergarten) he's coming home with new behaviors, vocabulary, etc.  Each time we ask him where he got these undesirable acts from his response is the new friend.  Unfortunately I'm coming to the conclusion that these behaviors are a result of this other child's influence.  What is the best way to handle this situation?

We've discussed making good choices even when others don't.
We've suggested playing with others. 
We have even named others for him to play with.
He knows to tell the child to stop and to get an adult if the child doesn't listen.
I don't know what else can be added to this list.


  1. I went through something like this with my oldest too. I just kept drilling those lessons into his head and hoped that it sunk in one day. (Not the best approach, I know, but I was at a loss since I had tried everything else.) One day it just seemed to click though.

    1. Well they say a child needs to hear something 1,000 times before they are able to internalize it. While it's frustrating drilling may be the solution!
      He had a better day on Thursday!
      My heart broke for him though because we told him to sit away from the child at lunch. The child told him at luch that he was sitting at the Looser table. I was so shocked that Kindergarteners were using the word Looser!

  2. Trouble at school is so difficult to deal with as a parent. You always feel like you know things would be better if you could just be there too, to see what was going on. Good luck working things out; I wish I had some good advice but sadly, I got nothing!

    1. I totally agree. If I could see what was happening I might be able to better assess the situation! Thanks for listening (reading) :)

  3. Well, I am impressed he thought to get new crayons for his art teacher - that's so sweet to think like that! I am still a ways from this world, but I think Kim is right - keep hammering it home to him that this kid is no good and just going to get him in trouble.

    1. Thanks! I was glad to hear him suggest that as well.
      We've been 'hammering' expectations this weekend. We also came up with a list of alternative friends . . . let's hope he uses is :)