On Saturday we
surprised our kiddos with a trip to The Children’s Museum. We haven’t been there in a while. We have a yearly pass and we like to make
sure we get our money’s worth out of it.
Having the pass allows us to visit for an hour or two and come back
another day. We don’t feel as if we need
to see every aspect of the museum because we can just come back another day. The museum is a great child friendly place to
visit. They offer activities, with both
gross and fine motor skills, for kids of all ages along with a variety of
interests.
Our typical plan of attack is to allow B to choose one
area that he would like to visit and G is allowed to select an area as
well. Depending upon the amount of time
we want to spend we may even find one area for them to come to a consensus on
and visit that area as well. We end most
visits with a ride on the Merry –Go-Round.
One of the perks of being a member is getting free Merry-Go-Round rides.
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| B and G digging for fossils! |
Over all we had a super visit, this time that is. Everyone was happy with where we visited and
the amount of time spent in each area.
Before heading to the Merry-Go-Round we explained that this would be the
last hurrah for the day (we find that our kids tend to handle changes better
when they are given a sequence of events in advance). As we departed the museum for the day we
encountered a family whose leaving luck was not going as well as ours.
My heart went out to this poor mother as we headed to our
car. Let’s face it, we have all been
there! It is one of the most horrific
feelings . . . here you are out in public and your wonderful child thinks this
is the perfect time to show his/her ugly side!
It is one of the truest tests of a parent’s patience. She was handling the situation like a pro;
she maintained her cool, and a calm but firm voice she simply explained to her
child that the crying needed to stop and that it was time to go. My blood began to bubble when Looky-Lous (not
a real word, so I’m not positive on the ‘correct’ spelling) groups passed her
and gave her the ‘How could you allow your child to behave this way in public?!’
look. I really wanted to approach the
lookers and say:
“Come on, like you’ve never been there? It’s not like she said to her child ‘can you
please scream at the top of
your lungs and draw massive attention to us?’.
Would you like someone looking
at you and criticizing with their eyes? Also,
she’s not screaming, beating, and berating her
child (like I have seen some parents do).
Oh and by the way since you’re parent of the year how about you step in and show us all a
thing or two?!”
By no means do I claim to be a pro when it comes to this
parenting thing, but Brent and I have found a few tricks that proven to be
successful with our kids. I would also
like to add that despite the fact that both B and G came from the same parents
they both have VERY different personalities and what works with one doesn’t
always work with the other (imagine that).
G (my 3 year old) is much more, how would you say well .
. . high maintenance than B. He is not
affected by other around him. He says
what he thinks no matter where he is, at home or in public. When his ugliness comes out (Brent and I
fondly refer to him as Grouchy G at that point, aren’t we nice?) he is LOUD and
there is absolutely no calming him down until he is ready to calm himself
down. A trick we have found to be
helpful with him is to simply say “Do we need to go wait outside?” as he is
beginning to become agitated. 9 times out
of 10 this is all that needs to be said for him to regain his composure. Now on the off chance that he is feeling
extra grouchy and the unwanted behavior continues, well either Brent or I will
remove him from the area. When outside
with him I make sure he is safe (not running around a parking lot) and let him
get the fit out of his system. I do tell
him that we will not go back in until he calms down. When he does eventually calm down (sometimes
it feels as if this process takes HOURS) we talk about why he was upset. I try to find the appropriate words to help
him express his frustration in a calm fashion rather than erupting like a
volcano. He then apologizes and states
what he did that was not appropriate and finally, we return to the prior
activity.
As for Mr. B (my 6 year old), he tends to be more laid
back than G. For the most part he is
very go with the flow and is a big
Mommy pleaser! Most of the time the Mommy look is enough to snap him
into shape! Last year at preschool his teachers
told me that when he got out of hand (apparently this didn’t happen very often,
so I’m glad to know that) they would simply say, “You need to stop or we’re
going to have to call Mommy." When he
gets out of hand it’s typically because he’s bored. Redirecting his attention and occupying his
mind and energy help to down play his misbehavior. For example if he begins picking on G when we
are the store I encourage him to look for as many triangles as he can find and
count them. I have also gone down book
isle and allowed him to select a book to read (if by chance we didn’t bring something
from home).
I’m sure as Baby M grows up she will bring yet another
diverse personality into our mix and we will be searching for tricks that work
with her.
What strategies do you use to
help your children behave appropriately in public?
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