Jun 23, 2012

Do You know?

Do you know when I say, that's fine

       It's really not

Do you know when I say, please, that's enough

       I need you to stop and listen to my words

Do you know that I don't want to argue with you
      When I do it's because I am exploding with frustration

Do you know that when I do explode at you

        I spend days apologizing to you in my head

Do you know when I say, I've had enough

      I'm falling apart inside

Do you know when you don't share in my excitement
      I feel guilty for being happy

Do you know that I hide things from you

      It's easier to hide than to hear your disapproval 

Do you know I long to have the relationship with you that I see others have

       I feel so alone

Do you know that I don't understand why you are so excited about the accomplishments of others

       It's like mine are never enough for you

Do you know when you repeatedly tell stories of mistakes I made in the past
       Inside, I break a little each time

Do you know that each time you're late

      I feel as if I'm not your priority

Do you know when you laugh at my reactions and responses

      It's tells me that you don't value me or my thoughts

Do you know why I don't ask you for help

      You think your way is the only way and I'm wrong if I don't agree

Do you know that we don't always have to agree

       I still respect you and your opinion

Do you know that I want to fix things
     I just don't know how


  1. Such an honest post. I hope you are able to say these things out loud so that you aren't always holding them in.

    1. Yeah me too. I struggle with being tactful at times. Especially when it comes to my mom. The fact that this isn't something that has happened over night doesn't help either.

  2. I can relate to most of what you wrote here. Yes, we should try not to bottle things up inside. If you can, do communicate with him.

    1. Thank you.
      I do try not to bottle things up for the most part. For some reason I hold it all in until I explode when it comes to my mom.