It’s 2:00Am, a time when most are fast asleep and dreaming. If someone is up at this time it’s typically for one of two reasons; a delightful evening of experiencing the night life is beginning to come to a close, as last call is 3:00AM, or you’re up with a child. It doesn’t seem like too long ago when I was taking part in the first option. Tonight however, the only partying I am doing is ‘rocking’ with Baby M. Oh and I don’t mean rocking as in dancing the night away. I mean rocking as in I’m sitting in a chair, holding her, and moving the chair back and forth in hopes that the movement with quickly lull her to sleep. It seems so much more glamorous to be out on the town enjoying the night life until 3:00AM, I wouldn’t change one single part of holding my sweet little girl for anything. At this point I’m sure some of you are thinking I’m crazy, while others know exactly what I’m talking about.
I find it interesting how the noises of my house seem to come alive when everyone except Baby M and I are asleep. As I stare blankly at the lime green wall of my bedroom, I feel almost as if I am in some sort of a coma. I am so tired and can barely keep my eyes open. Yet this baby I’m holding in my arms seems to think I should be on her time schedule. She has absolutely no understanding of day and night. Not to mention her lack of understanding regarding the other 4 people she lives with. She will quickly learn about these things. I begin to hear the endless hum coming from the refrigerator (It’s from my college days we keep it in our room so I don’t have to go down stairs to store milk.) at my side. It is accompanied by the squeak of the rocking chair and every so often a low snore can be heard from my husband, who is enjoying a nice night’s sleep. And to top it all off, the most enjoyable noise of all (Yes, I just described noise as enjoyable. Keep reading you’ll understand why in a moment.) The sweet coo coming from my little girl. You see she isn’t being fussy at this hour, she simply wants to be held and interact with her Mommy (Now do you understand why I called this my favorite noise?). All of this could be irritating. I choose not to view it in such a negative way. Instead, I choose to find the positive in all of this ruckus!
I know the reality of this situation. It is short lived. Right now in this moment she needs everything from me. The only communicating she is able to do is through her cries and coos. I am left to decipher between them all to determine what specifically she is in need of. There are times, however, when she looks directly into my eyes and it’s almost as if she is able to completely understand just what I am thinking at that moment. All of these seemingly endless moments do eventually come to an end. And in the grand scheme of a child’s life they are such a tiny part of it. It seems like only yesterday I was partaking in these very same activities with my now 6 year old son. He still hugs and kisses me, but far and few between are the days when he wants to sit and rock with me. No longer does he depend solely on me for his needs. So right now I’m going open my eyes, as much as possible, and simply enjoy this time with my daughter. I know that as soon as I blink my eyes the moment will disappear and she will be 6 years old, in Kindergarten, and far too big to want to rock with her Mommy.